Don’t Ignore This Red Flag Before Marriage: The Danger of Lack of Submission

Beloved, God has brought a few people across my path to show me something very serious—the danger of marrying someone who has no regard for authority or accountability. This is not a small issue, and it is not something to overlook because of emotions or outward appearances. It is a foundational matter that can either stabilize a marriage or destroy it completely.

There are people who do not listen to anyone but themselves. Sadly, many of them even identify as Christians. I may not fully agree with calling them that, but I have to, because they go to church and have mastered the right “Christian language.” They can speak well, sound spiritual, and even appear committed—but something critical is missing in their character.

A true Christian has a soft and humble heart. A true Christian has regard not only for God but also for people. When things are not going well, a genuine believer is open to correction. They are willing to listen to their leaders, set aside personal opinions, and follow godly counsel—even when it is uncomfortable or goes against what they feel.

The Bible makes this very clear. How can you claim to love God, whom you cannot see, when you do not love the people around you? How can you say you submit to God, yet you cannot submit to any form of human authority He has placed in your life? These are questions we must take seriously, especially when making life decisions like marriage.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and many of us look forward to it with great expectation. But before you say “I do,” take time to truly know who you are committing your life to. One of the most important questions you must answer is this: Who is this person accountable to? If your potential spouse has no one they listen to, you are stepping into something dangerous.

Run as fast as you can.

Do not look back. Do not allow emotions to blind your judgment. Do not be deceived by the love they show you today or the attention they give you. Do not be carried away by how spiritual they sound or how fluently they speak in tongues. When real life situations come—and they will—their true nature will show, and you may not like what you see.

Many people ignore this red flag because they are blinded by money, beauty, or the excitement of being loved. Some are carried away by gifts, attention, or the desire to finally settle down. But now that you are reading this, you can no longer say you did not know. Knowledge brings responsibility.

I am begging you—please do not marry someone who does not submit to anyone.

Now, how do you know if your potential spouse is truly submissive? It is not enough for them to say it. Anyone can claim submission, but true submission is revealed through actions, not words. There are simple but powerful ways to discern this if you are willing to pay attention.

First, ask them directly: Who do you submit to? A serious and grounded person should be able to answer this clearly. There should be someone in their life they respect, listen to, and are accountable to. If they struggle to answer or give vague responses, that is already a sign to be cautious.

Second, observe them carefully—prayerfully and patiently. Watch how they respond to instructions or correction from that person they claim to submit to. Do they follow through, or do they resist when it is inconvenient? Do they become defensive, or do they remain teachable and open?

If someone says they submit to a leader but ignores that leader’s counsel—especially when it challenges their desires—then they are not truly submissive. If their mindset is, “Why should he tell me what to do?” or “Is it because I said I submit to him?” then what you are seeing is not submission—it is pride disguised as independence.

I took time to write this because I have seen marriages suffer deeply due to this single issue. What should have been small disagreements turned into major crises, simply because one person refused to listen to anyone. When there is no accountability, there is no structure—and where there is no structure, things fall apart.

Some people carry a very dangerous mindset: “No one is my God, so no one has the right to correct me.” While it is true that no one is God, it is also true that God places people in our lives for guidance, correction, and growth. Rejecting that structure is rejecting a system God Himself established.

I beg you in the name of Jesus—do not ignore this. Do not marry someone who does not submit to anyone.

But if your goal is simply to get married at all costs, without considering what comes after, then you are free to make that choice. Just understand what you are stepping into. And when things begin to fall apart, do not act surprised.

God bless you.

The Subject I Hated in School Is Now My Daily Bread.

 

I went to visit my elder sister one day, and it turned into one of those simple moments that carry deep lessons. We were all seated on the bed together—myself and one of my nieces were busy editing an AI video, while the youngest sat quietly with a book in her hand. She was reading Things Fall Apart, trying to concentrate, but it was obvious she wasn’t enjoying it.

After a while, she murmured, “This book is too boring for my age.” Then she looked at me and said she doesn’t like Literature because it’s too bulky, and the reading was making her sleepy. The honesty in her voice made me smile, but it also stirred something deeper in me. That moment immediately took me back to my own school days.

I looked at her and said, “Never choose a subject based only on what you like right now. Sometimes, you have to discipline yourself to like every subject, because you don’t know which one will become important later in life.” It wasn’t just advice—I was speaking from experience, something I had learned the hard way.

Then I began to share my story with her so she could understand better. Back in primary and secondary school, I didn’t like English at all. The answers always seemed too long, too open-ended, and not as direct as I wanted. But Mathematics was different—I loved it because everyone could arrive at the same answer. It felt safe, clear, and predictable.

I spent most of my time solving math problems, and to be honest, those were the only textbooks I owned throughout my school years. I genuinely enjoyed working through calculations and finding solutions. It gave me a sense of confidence and control, something I didn’t feel with English.

Meanwhile, English was a struggle for me. I failed it many times, and even when I managed to pass, it was usually with a weak grade. But at that time, I didn’t see it as a problem. I convinced myself that English would not be important for the course I planned to study in the university, so I focused my energy on what I thought mattered.

Then life happened.

A few years later, I found myself doing something I never planned for—I started writing. Not just occasionally, but consistently. Writing became part of my daily life, and suddenly, the subject I had ignored became one of the most important tools I needed.

That was when reality hit me.

I said to myself, “If only I had known I would fall in love with writing, I would have taken English more seriously. In fact, I would have studied it just as much as Mathematics, if not more.” That realization stayed with me, and it completely changed how I view learning and preparation.

That experience taught me a lesson I will never forget. The things we ignore today may become the very things we depend on tomorrow. What feels boring now may later become your strength, your tool, or even your source of income.

This is why I strongly believe that we can teach the younger generation better, not only through structured classrooms, but through casual, everyday moments like this. Simple conversations, shared stories, and real-life experiences often leave deeper impressions than formal lessons.

We should not wait until morning devotion, evening prayers, or moments of correction before we teach life lessons. Sometimes, the best teaching happens in relaxed environments, where children feel free to express themselves and learn without pressure.

May God give us the wisdom to guide the next generation in the right way, and the patience to teach them with understanding.