In this lesson, we will be discussing how to build a personal relationship with God. The height you will attain spiritually is dependent on the quality of your relationship with God, emphasizing the importance of building a strong, lasting relationship with God that shapes your character, guides your decisions, and anchors your faith.
Before we continue with this lesson, you may be wondering what the benefits of having a personal relationship with God truly are. If so, I encourage you to read this post first to understand the benefits of having a personal relationship with God, which include guidance, peace, purpose, and the assurance of His presence in every area of your life.
There are many things God will personally teach you when you build and maintain a personal relationship with Him, and God longs for such relationships.
Read the Bible passage below:
James 4:8
“Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded.”
This Bible passage is the foundation for building a relationship with God. God saved us by His mercy. When we were yet sinners, He chose and saved us. This was God’s initiative—He initiated your knowing Him.
However, building a personal relationship with God now requires your personal initiative. You must decide to maintain that relationship. God will not force you. Many people started building a relationship with God but stopped halfway, and God did not force them to continue. This is why spending time in the secret place—private moments of prayer, worship, and reflection—is essential for nurturing and sustaining your connection with Him.
So, you must have a strong determination to maintain a good relationship with God, because there will be challenges along the way.
The devil and the world will fight you to drop it—do not pay attention. Sometimes people will say you are doing too much—do not listen.
What should occupy your mind is the sweet and consistent relationship with God that you will enjoy.
So, how do we build a consistent relationship with God?
1. Make up your mind to fellowship with God in prayer every day.
It is good to set a specific time. The time should be slightly longer than your normal prayer time so it does not become mechanical.
For example, if you normally pray for 10 minutes, set your daily fellowship time for 15 minutes. At first, it may be difficult, but with time you will get used to it and even exceed it.
This prayer time should not be used only to bombard God with requests. It should also be a time to listen to Him and hear what He wants you to do.
This is how you train yourself to hear the voice of God. That is why a quiet place is very important. Noise will disturb your flow, so choose a quiet environment.
Choose any convenient time—day or night—but make sure it is free from distractions. Keep strictly to the time. Do not be late, and do not stop too early. If your prayer time is 15 minutes, keep it. It is better to exceed it than to stop before time.
Also, understand that consistency is more important than duration. Pray every day, whether you feel like it or not. Being mindful of hindrances to effective personal relationship with God—like distractions, irregularity, or neglecting discipline—ensures that your time with Him is fruitful and impactful.
As you continue, you will discover that prayer is not always about talking. Sometimes you remain quiet before God and allow your spirit to communicate with His Spirit.
This is when God sends instructions, insights, and inspiration into your spirit.
2. Spend time reading and studying the Word.
As you pray, you must also create time to read and study the Bible. This is how you get to know the God you are relating with.
If you are just starting, do not use only the King James Version. Combine it with modern translations. The language of the King James Version is different from how we speak today, and modern versions help with understanding.
Be consistent with Bible reading. If using a daily devotional helps you stay consistent, please do.
I personally have chapters of the Bible I read every day, and I make sure I read them before the day ends.
Without the Word, you cannot truly know God, because His Word is an expression of who He is.
As you read or study the Word, make up your mind to obey it. There is no point in reading the Word if you are not willing to obey it. When you disobey the Word, you are disobeying God.
3. Take personal retreats regularly.
A personal retreat is when you set aside one full day—or more—to stay with God alone. Some people go for 7 days, 14 days, or even 21 days.
If you are starting, begin with 24 hours. Spend one full day with God, then increase the duration with time.
During a retreat, go with your Bible and, if necessary, a book on a subject you want to understand better. Study, pray, and wait on God.
It is helpful to go for a retreat with a specific purpose. It could be to understand a scripture, seek direction, solve a challenge, or simply know God more.
Some pray like Moses during retreat:
Exodus 33:13 (KJV)
“Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee…”
Others go to seek direction for their ministry or life. Sometimes, you may go on retreat not because you want anything, but simply to fellowship with God and allow Him to speak freely into your life.
Personal retreats help you deepen and sustain a consistent walk with God.
God wants to relate with you personally. So no matter how busy you are with church activities or God’s work, never neglect your personal relationship with Him.
If this message has spoken to you, here are some related teachings that will help you understand a personal relationship with God more deeply:
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