Living Word : 2026-01-25

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Absalom’s Principle: How People Manipulate Their Way Into Power (Biblical Warning).

Let me share a principle in the Bible that is still playing out today, yet many people may not be aware of it. I call it Absalom’s Principle.

Absalom’s Principle is a method some people use to gain power. Some succeed with it, others fail, but it is a principle that no true kingdom citizen should ever use. I use the word kingdom intentionally, because many people are in church but are not kingdom-minded—highlighting the importance of following Biblical leadership principles, which guide us to lead with integrity, humility, and a heart aligned with God’s purposes.

Sadly, some people in the church—who are not kingdom citizens—borrow leadership methods from worldly systems. Some even apply ideas from books like The 48 Laws of Power. While not everything in such books is evil, many of those principles are flesh-driven and manipulative. No kingdom leader should rely on such methods to lead God’s people.

Now, let’s look at Absalom’s Principle itself.

This principle involves gaining power by winning people’s hearts through manipulation—making the current leader appear incompetent while presenting oneself as the better alternative. I won’t go deep into Absalom’s full story here; you can read it in 2 Samuel 15:4–7.

Absalom sought the throne through the back door. He knew he was unlikely to become king through God’s ordained process—especially since God had already revealed that Solomon would reign after David. So instead of waiting on God, Absalom decided to steal the mandate—illustrating Saul's leadership principle, where impatience and taking shortcuts undermine God’s plan and ultimately lead to failure.

He deliberately portrayed his father, King David, as ineffective while making himself appear caring, attentive, and more capable. His strategy was simple: win the hearts of the people first, then take the crown.

Sadly, this same principle is still being used today—especially in churches.

Some people do not genuinely care about others, but suddenly become very caring when they are close to leadership or power. Their concern is not love-driven; it is position-driven. They begin to display certain body language and actions meant to convince people that they care more than the current leader.

These Absalom-principle users may start giving gifts, offering opportunities, making frequent calls, or paying regular visits—not because of love, but because they want to win loyalty and control. Deep down, they are not motivated by the love of Christ, but by lust for position—contrasting sharply with David's leadership principle, which teaches that true leaders build loyalty through integrity, service, and a genuine heart for people rather than manipulation or selfish ambition.

Once their ambition is threatened, they become hostile. If they eventually gain power, they often turn oppressive and controlling. They resist anyone who shows potential to rise higher than them.

If your gift or talent becomes a threat to such leaders, they may make life uncomfortable for you. They would rather push you out than allow you to shine. They prefer losing valuable contributors over risking being outshined.

Absalom’s way of gaining power is fleshly, manipulative, and demonic. It is not God’s method.

If you have known someone for years who never cared about your welfare, and suddenly they become overly attentive, pause and discern the reason for the sudden change. They may be using you as a means to achieve their hidden agenda.

Do not use Absalom’s Principle to gain power.

And do not become a victim of it.

You also need to know that the man at the front is not always the best man.

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Necessary Evil: Why Pain Is Part of Birthing Your Dreams

I was walking down the road one day when I saw a pregnant woman, and suddenly, a funny post I once saw online came to mind.

The post said:

“A kick on the butt is more painful than labor pains.”

Of course, the person who wrote it was a man—someone who has clearly never experienced labor pains. Another person replied and asked, “How do you know?”

The man responded, “Because no one has ever asked for another kick on the butt.”

The humor in that response is obvious, but beyond the laughter, there is a powerful truth hidden in it. Women go through the intense pain of labor, yet many still choose to have more children. Why? Because the joy that comes after the pain outweighs the pain itself—reminding us to ask, Do you understand God when life gets hard?, and trust that the struggles we face today can lead to greater joy and purpose tomorrow.

That simple idea reveals something deep about life—something many of us overlook.

Life is designed in such a way that before anything meaningful is birthed, there is always a process, and that process often involves pain.

And when I say “we,” I mean all of us. Not everyone will give birth to a child, but everyone is meant to give birth to something—an idea, a vision, a business, a ministry, a purpose—teaching us how disappointment is mercy, as the challenges and delays shape us, prepare us, and protect us for what we are meant to bring into the world.

Nothing valuable comes into existence without a process. And that process is rarely comfortable.

The Pain Before the Birth

Anyone who is not ready to face the pain is not ready for the birth.

This is where many people get stuck. They desire the outcome, but they are not willing to go through the process. They admire success, but they avoid the sacrifice it requires.

I once spoke with a young lady who was deeply afraid of giving birth. Not because she didn’t want children, but because of the stories she had heard about labor pains. Those stories created fear in her mind to the point where she began to question something that was naturally meant to bring joy—reminding me how when God delays, it is often to prepare our hearts and minds so that we can fully embrace the blessing without fear.

In the same way, many people are afraid to pursue their dreams—not because the dreams are impossible, but because of the obstacles they imagine. They have heard stories of failure, rejection, struggle, and hardship, and those stories have shaped their decisions.

The result? They never even start.

What You Focus On Matters

I have discovered something very important: many people focus so much on the pain that they completely lose sight of the benefit that comes after.

Jesus showed us a powerful principle in how to handle challenges:

Hebrews 12:2 says,

“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Jesus did not ignore the pain of the cross—but He refused to focus on it. Instead, He focused on the joy that would come after. That focus gave Him the strength to endure what seemed unbearable.

If Jesus had focused more on the suffering, the shame, and the pain, He would not have completed His assignment.

Two Possible Focus Points

Every one of us has two choices when going through a process:

Focus on the pain of the process
Focus on the benefit of the outcome

If you focus on the pain, it will drain your energy, weaken your resolve, and eventually cause you to give up.

But if you focus on the outcome—the result, the impact, the reward—you will find strength you didn’t know you had.

Because whatever you focus on magnifies. Focus on pain, and it grows bigger in your mind until it feels impossible to move forward. Focus on the gain, and it grows stronger until it pushes you forward, even when it’s difficult—teaching us that God's will does not always bring instant victory, but staying focused on His purpose ensures we persevere to the right end.

The Silent Dream Killer: Excuses

One of the most subtle ways people focus on pain without realizing it is through excuses.

Excuses sound reasonable. They often feel justified. But in reality, they are barriers we build around our own progress.

You hear things like:

“I’m not ready yet.”
“I don’t have enough resources.”
“What if I fail?”
“This is too hard.”

The truth is simple and direct: you cannot make excuses and make progress at the same time.

It’s one or the other.

You must decide—will you protect your excuses, or will you pursue your purpose?

Because every excuse you keep alive slowly kills your dream.

Real-Life Lessons to Hold On To

Pain is part of the process, not a sign to quit.
Every meaningful achievement comes with discomfort. Growth stretches you. Progress challenges you. Don’t interpret difficulty as a sign to stop—it’s often a sign you’re on the right path.
Your mindset determines your endurance.
Two people can face the same challenge, but their focus will determine their outcome. One sees pain and quits. The other sees purpose and continues.
Fear is often built on imagination, not reality.
Like the lady afraid of childbirth, many fears are based on stories, not personal experience. Don’t let imagined pain rob you of real opportunities.
Excuses are expensive.
They may give you temporary comfort, but they cost you long-term fulfillment. Every excuse you entertain is a step away from your potential.
The reward is always greater than the process.
Just like childbirth, the joy that comes after will make the pain worth it. But you have to get there to experience it.

Final Thought

Whatever you are trying to give birth to in life—don’t stop because of the pain. Don’t shrink back because of fear. Don’t settle because the process is uncomfortable.

Shift your focus.

Look beyond the struggle. See the outcome. See the impact. See the fulfillment.

Kill your excuses, embrace the process, and keep moving forward.

Because on the other side of that pain is something worth every effort.

See you at the top.

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Friday, January 30, 2026

When Speed Does Not Make Sense: Why Direction Matters More Than Speed

Life is time-bound, and how fast you move is crucial. Speed is significant, but not always beneficial. If you're heading in the wrong direction, speed becomes a disadvantage rather than an advantage.

When you're on the wrong path, increasing speed only leads to more mistakes, and that’s counterproductive. For example, if you're playing the wrong note in a piece of music or following a rhythm that doesn’t match the beat, the best approach is to stop and correct yourself before continuing. Ignoring the error and pressing on only results in more mistakes—underscoring the importance of taking time to know your purpose in Christ, so every step you take aligns with His plan rather than just moving fast in the wrong direction.

The same principle applies to life. If you’re speeding in the wrong direction, the first step is to stop and change course. Only then can speed become beneficial.

I learned this lesson firsthand after finishing secondary school. I went to a village school to teach math and physics, and I often rode with the school principal on his bike. We both were new to the area and enjoyed speed. One day, we sped along and unintentionally took the wrong road. It took us a while to realize our mistake, as the road began to look unfamiliar—reminding me how important it is to slow down and reflect when learning how to discover your purpose, so you don’t rush into paths that lead away from where you are truly meant to go.

We eventually acknowledged that we had missed the correct path. We laughed at our error, turned back, and then proceeded correctly.

This experience highlighted how, in life, you can travel far in the wrong direction and still believe you’re making progress. But it doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone; the key is to stop, correct your course, and head in the right direction—because doing so is essential to have competitive advantage, ensuring your efforts count toward meaningful progress rather than wasted motion.

If you’ve gone the wrong way in your career, relationships, or personal choices, you can always make a U-turn. It’s never too late to correct your path.

And if you’re trapped in sin, remember that God’s forgiveness is always available. Like the prodigal son, you can return, and God will welcome you with open arms. Repentance begins with stopping and turning back.

Are you speeding in the wrong direction? It’s time to pause, reflect, and choose the right path—understanding that some pains we cannot avoid are part of the journey, but they can guide us back to where we truly belong.

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Paying Evil for Good: Why It Always Invites Trouble (Proverbs 17:13).

Proverbs 17:13

“Whoso rewardeth evil for good, evil shall not depart from his house.”

I have seen this Bible verse play out many times in real life. I will share a few true stories to help us understand this principle better—and to show practically how to build Godly character, so that our actions and decisions reflect God’s wisdom and integrity in every situation.

This post is long, but please read to the end so you can learn the lessons.

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is to fight against someone who genuinely loves you and has your best interest at heart.

If you want to plant a tree of trouble that you will continually reap from, then pay evil for good.

A Story from My Childhood

When I was a small boy in the village, a lady came to church for deliverance. How she got there, I do not know, but she was brought to church and prayers were consistently made for her.

The deliverance sessions were intense. Hands were laid on different parts of her body to cast out demons. There was even a spiritual standing order that if she was not delivered, she would not be able to marry.

After the deliverance, her father wanted her to immediately leave church and go and marry, without allowing her to first become established in her faith in Christ. The church advised him to wait for a while, but this made him very angry—highlighting the importance of learning to treat people right, even when guiding or correcting them, so that love and respect are not lost in the process.

Instead of facing his daughter, he turned his anger on the church. The matter escalated until he openly slapped my pastor in front of people.

The pastor could have allowed people to beat him, but he restrained everyone and asked them to leave the man alone.

What happened afterward is the reason I am sharing this story.

The man almost ran mad. He began roaming around the entire village, searching for a particular man whose house everyone in the village already knew.

God had mercy on him. He was eventually forgiven and regained his sanity—showing the importance of learning to take responsibility for your actions, because acknowledging your mistakes is the first step toward restoration and peace.

A Story from Online

A woman once came online begging for money because she was pregnant and could not afford hospital bills for delivery. A kind-hearted woman decided to help her by transferring ₦50,000, but mistakenly sent ₦500,000.

When the recipient noticed the money, she blocked the sender on all platforms and continued living her life.

Chasing the money would have cost the sender time and resources, so she decided to let it go.

The pregnant woman later gave birth, but sadly, the baby died. She also fell sick with a condition the hospital could not handle.

That was when she started looking for the woman who sent the money, begging her to come and “reverse the curse.”

The woman replied that she never cursed her; she simply moved on with her life after being blocked.

That woman paid evil for good and invited evil into her own life.

My Personal Experience

Here is another true-life story—this one is mine—which confirms that this principle truly works.

I moved into a new compound, and NEPA (the power company) was constantly troubling us. If a bill of ₦10,000 came and we paid ₦8,000, they would disconnect our electricity.

I considered this oppression, so I went to the power company to ask how I could get a prepaid meter. I was told the requirements.

I discussed it with my landlord, and he supported me by providing the necessary documents. I applied for a meter—learning to focus on what is right, instead of dwelling on the inconvenience or unfairness, made the process much smoother and more fruitful.

My neighbor, with whom we shared electricity bills, asked me to help him apply as well since I was already doing the process. I decided to apply for three meters instead of one, using my time and resources—and it worked.

When it was time to pay for the meters, both my landlord and my neighbor surprisingly declined.

I wasn’t shocked by my landlord’s response, but I didn’t understand why my neighbor refused. Later, he told me that the woman we usually paid at the power office discouraged him.

Immediately my meter was installed, my neighbor had to pay the full bill alone. To make matters worse, the power company increased tariffs, and he ended up paying almost three times what we used to share.

Now desperate, he wanted a meter by all means. He paid someone else to apply for a meter I had already processed. He even demanded my portal password, which I refused to give him, though I offered to provide any necessary information.

That refusal became a serious issue. My landlord was involved. I was blackmailed. My landlord even slapped me. Eventually, I was given a quit notice for being “a bad person.”

Finally, we went to the power company to clarify everything. There, it was confirmed that I did nothing wrong. Only then did my landlord calm down.

Up till today, that apartment still does not have a prepaid meter—even though my neighbor has long moved out.

Final Lesson

My neighbor paid me evil for good, and God was watching.

Please learn this principle: never reward good with evil.

When you do, you invite trouble into your life.

Be careful how you treat people who genuinely want to help you.

If this message has spoken to you, here are some related teachings that will help you understand how Paying Evil for Good can bring issues more deeply:

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Insecurity in Marriage: When Men Fear the Success of Their Wives.

I don’t understand why some men become so insecure that they end up fighting against the success of their own wives. It is one of the most painful contradictions you can find in marriage—a place that is supposed to nurture growth becoming the very place where dreams are suppressed.

I have seen men deliberately sabotage the progress of their wives. Not because the women were wrong, but because of fear. Some fear that if their wives become successful, they will lose respect or submission. Others are afraid of being overshadowed. And some simply cannot handle the idea that their wife might rise beyond their current level—highlighting the importance of understanding Biblical kingdom principles for successful marriage and relationships, where growth, support, and mutual respect are meant to strengthen, not threaten, a partnership.

To be honest, I may not fully understand this mindset, but one thing is clear—it is wrong.

Why should a man feel threatened by the success of his wife?

If anything, her growth should be a source of pride. Her wins should be his wins. Marriage is not a competition; it is a partnership. When one person rises, the whole family rises. A wise man understands this and invests in the growth of his wife, not her limitation.

The truth is, insecurity in marriage is dangerous. It does not just create tension—it quietly destroys potential. I have seen women full of talent, intelligence, and vision gradually shrink because the environment around them did not support their growth. Their ideas were discouraged. Their efforts were questioned. Their confidence was slowly eroded.

Not because they lacked ability—but because they were not allowed to thrive.

That is why I believe ambitious women must be very intentional about the kind of man they choose to marry. Love alone is not enough. Attraction is not enough. Even shared faith, while important, is not enough if the man does not have the maturity to handle your growth—because this is often why marriages lose their sweetness, when one partner feels threatened rather than inspired by the other’s progress.

The wrong partner will not always attack you directly. Sometimes, the damage is subtle. It may come in the form of discouraging comments like, “Why do you need to do all this?” or “Focus on the home instead.” It may show up as lack of support, constant criticism, or silent resistance. Over time, these things chip away at your confidence and slowly shrink your vision.

Before you realize it, you begin to play small—not because you want to, but because it feels safer.

I have seen women who could have gone very far in life, but their husbands would not allow it. Their wings were clipped—not by failure, but by fear. Not their fear, but the fear of the man they were joined to.

So what can a woman do in such a situation?

First, if you are not yet married, take your time. Do not rush into marriage without observing the man’s mindset about growth, success, and partnership. Ask yourself honest questions: Does he celebrate other people’s success, or does he feel threatened by it? Does he support your dreams, or does he try to control them? Can he handle a strong, evolving woman, or does he prefer someone who will remain small?

Pay attention to how he reacts to your wins now, not later. A man who is uncomfortable with your progress before marriage will not magically change after marriage—these are clear signs of a toxic relationship that should not be ignored.

Second, if you are already in such a marriage, wisdom is key. Not every situation requires confrontation, and not every issue can be solved overnight. Start by understanding the root of the insecurity. Many times, it is not hatred—it is fear. Fear of losing control, fear of inadequacy, or fear of comparison.

Have honest and respectful conversations. Help your husband see that your growth is not a threat but an advantage to the family. Let him understand that you are not trying to compete with him but to complement him.

At the same time, do not completely abandon your growth. Find ways to keep developing yourself—mentally, spiritually, and skill-wise—even if progress seems slow. Read, learn, build quietly if you must, but do not stop becoming who God has called you to be.

Third, build your confidence internally. When external support is lacking, internal strength becomes essential. Know your worth. Understand your purpose. Remind yourself that your potential is not a mistake. You were created with it for a reason—this is a key part of how to handle a toxic person, because the stronger and clearer you are about your value, the less power their negativity has over you.

It is also important to surround yourself with the right voices—mentors, friends, or communities that encourage growth and balance. Sometimes, hearing the right perspective can help you navigate your situation with wisdom instead of frustration.

Fourth, avoid turning the situation into a battle. Constant fighting, proving a point, or trying to “outshine” your husband will only create more tension. Instead, operate with wisdom, patience, and strategy. Growth does not always have to be loud to be effective.

However, it is equally important to set boundaries where necessary. If your dreams are constantly being suppressed, you must decide how far you are willing to compromise. A healthy marriage should not require the death of your purpose.

Lastly, never lose sight of the bigger picture. Marriage is meant to be a place of support, growth, and unity. If that is not your current reality, it does not mean all hope is lost—but it does mean intentional effort is required to move things in the right direction.

To every woman reading this: your dreams are valid. Your growth matters. Your potential is not something to hide or apologize for.

And to every man, this is a simple truth—when your wife succeeds, you succeed. When she grows, your home grows. Supporting her does not reduce you; it strengthens you.

In the end, the goal is not for one person to shine while the other fades. The goal is to build a life where both individuals thrive together.

May we all have the wisdom to choose right, the strength to grow, and the grace to build relationships that bring out the best in us—not suppress it.

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Hindrances to Effective Personal Relationship with God

Our last discussion was on How to Build a Personal Relationship with God, and I believe many of you read it. That write-up came as a continuation of our discussion on Silent Forms of Idolatry Practiced by Christians Today—further helping us see How to develop a strong personal relationship with God, not just in words, but in daily, intentional walk with Him.

Before we continue with this lesson, you may be wondering what the benefits of having a personal relationship with God truly are. If so, I encourage you to read this post first.

People wanted to know how to build a personal relationship with God, and I promised to write about it—which I did.

Today, we will be discussing hindrances to maintaining an effective personal relationship with God. If you read the first discussion, I believe this one will also bless you.

Below are some things that can hinder an effective personal relationship with God.

1. Lack of Strong Determination

Having a strong determination to maintain a consistent walk with God is the most important factor in building a personal relationship with Him. I could have started with sin, but sin is not the number one hindrance.

If you truly have a strong determination to build a relationship with God, He will help you deal with sin—if you are willing to surrender.

There is a Scripture that says, since they have made up their minds, nothing will be impossible for them to achieve.

You must make up your mind firmly. Without strong determination, many things will distract you. There will be days you don’t feel like praying, days you don’t even know what to pray about. You may feel you have prayed all the prayers you know and wonder what else you are doing there—but that is part of building a personal relationship with God, where consistency matters more than feelings and staying becomes more powerful than knowing what to say.

Remember, you are building a relationship, not just praying.

From experience, prayer often becomes sweeter when you don’t know what to pray and you surrender to the Holy Spirit to lead you.

Many people give excuses for why they cannot maintain a relationship with God. Those excuses exist because they have not truly made up their minds.

Sometimes, you will have to leave an interesting discussion with loved ones to pray. Other times, you may have to leave your favorite football match. If your determination is not strong, even when you leave physically, your mind will still be on the match, and that won’t help your relationship with God.

Maintaining a relationship with God requires sacrifice. Sometimes it will cost your sleep and comfort. If your determination is weak, this is where you begin to struggle.

Some complain that children will not allow them to maintain a consistent walk with God. This complaint exists because they have not fully decided—they are using God’s blessings as an excuse.

Strong determination alone already solves many of the other hindrances we will discuss, especially when it is rooted in the secret place, where uninterrupted time with God builds resilience, focus, and intimacy that no external circumstance can shake.

2. Laziness

If you are lazy, you cannot build an effective relationship with Jesus. You know it’s time to pray or study the Word, but you keep dragging your feet. You feel unnecessarily tired and start giving excuses about how busy your day was—this is laziness.

Even if your day was truly busy and you are genuinely tired, why not go to God with that tiredness? Tell your Friend that you are exhausted. Be free with Him.

Religion tells us it’s wrong to sleep in God’s presence, yet many of us have slept there—and God did not kill us.

I am not encouraging you to go and sleep, but instead of avoiding God because you think you might sleep, go and rest in His arms. Whenever you wake up, continue from where you stopped.

Sometimes, God will overrule the tiredness and strengthen you until you are done (Isaiah 40:29).

Don’t allow laziness to stop you from relating with your new-found Friend.

3. Bitterness, Unforgiveness, and Anger

These are serious issues that can hinder your relationship with God. Do not harbor bitterness or unforgiveness against anyone. Forgive those who offend you—whether they ask for forgiveness or not. You forgive them for your own good, not theirs.

Be careful with anger while relating with God. Anger can grieve the Holy Spirit, and that is not what you want.

Bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger make you heavy in God’s presence. They hinder free flow and intimacy. No one has done anything to you that compares with what was done to Jesus, yet He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Sin in general will hinder an effective personal relationship with Jesus. Stay away from sin.

4. Noise and Distractions

Choose a quiet place when relating with God. You will not hear Him clearly when there is noise. Noise is an enemy of spiritual communication.

This is why many people prefer night prayers—everywhere is quiet and free from distractions.

If daytime is too noisy for you, then use the night. God wants to relate with us throughout the day, but we must start somewhere.

I see some people go to prayer with shekere, and I wonder why. It is okay to use instruments while singing before prayer, but once prayer starts, quietness is important. God may want to speak to your spirit, and noise can hinder that.

Learn to use silence to your advantage.

5. Fear of Surrender

This is a major reason many people stop relating closely with God. Many run away during God’s training process.

When you relate with God, He will make demands—this is normal. You may want to eat your favorite meal, and God says, “Fast today.” He knows why.

Sometimes, God demands something very important to you—something you spent time, money, and effort to get. He may ask for your cherished possession, just as He asked Abraham for Isaac.

If you are not fully surrendered, you will feel God is asking for too much.

Another difficult area is when God becomes strict with you. Things He allows others to do freely, He will not allow you. He corrects you sharply, and you begin to feel different—even strange to yourself.

This is where some people run away. That is very dangerous. When people run at this stage, their lives begin to move backward. May this not be you in Jesus’ name.

Complete surrender is what makes your relationship with God sweet and lasting. God does not owe any man. Whatever He takes, He gives back much more.

6. Transactional Mindset

This is the last hindrance we will discuss here, though the list is not exhaustive.

Do not relate with God transactionally—“I do this, and God must do that.” Many Christians approach God this way, and it is wrong. You are building a relationship, not striking a deal.

If you have a transactional mindset, you won’t last long with God. He has His own timing and process, which you may not understand.

God does not bless you primarily because you gave to Him; He blesses you because you obeyed Him. Everything you have already belongs to Him, so He owes you nothing.

Relate with God out of love, not for what you can get. Whatever you desire materially, there is someone out there who has it without knowing God.

Your joy should first be that you know Him and relate with Him as your Father and Friend. Other things are additions.

We will have one more discussion on this topic: The Benefits of Having a Personal Relationship with God.

I am sure you will love it. See you there.

If this message has spoken to you, here are some related teachings that will help you understand Hindrances to Effective Personal Relationship with God more deeply:

I Am Not Ordinary: How Being Born Again Changed Everything

Someone may ask, “What is he up to today? What does he have to say again?”

Listen to me:

If you are not born again, you are actually in a safe zone. But if you are born again and you are ashamed to let people know or to talk about it, then you don’t truly understand what you have—because until you truly understand what it means to be born again?, you may carry something priceless and still treat it as though it has no value.

Let me share a true story.

Many years ago, I had a friend whom I communicated with occasionally. One day, she showed me her back. What I saw was shocking. It was covered with injuries I can hardly describe—like painful boils all over her back.

I asked her what happened. She told me that she had been shot in a dream, and that was the result. She said she had to run to her pastor for prayers so that her life would be saved.

After she left, I was filled with awe at what God had done for me. I was amazed that a single gunshot in a dream could have such physical consequences—deepening my conviction that You must be born again, because there are realities in the spirit that only a transformed life in Christ can truly understand and stand against.

I couldn’t even remember how many times I had been shot in my own dreams. There were times I thought I was dead, only to wake up and realize it was just a dream.

I had no injuries.

No pain.

Nothing happened to me.

I had been shot so many times in dreams that I almost started thinking that even physical guns do not kill.

So the question is this: what made the difference?

One person was shot once and almost died.

Another was shot many times with no effect at all.

Let me tell you something important: those gunshots in my dreams were not ordinary. They usually happened whenever I prayed fervently at night—making me realize over time how crucial it is to know what you received when you got born again, because without that understanding, it is easy to misinterpret spiritual experiences or fail to stand firm in them.

If you are born again and living in your covenant rights as a child of God, then consider this Scripture:

Luke 10:19

“Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.”

I don’t care what the plans of hell are. The Word says, “Nothing shall by any means hurt me.”

That is why all those gunshots in my dreams could not affect me.

Thank God I am born again.

Read a bit of my story here

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Wednesday, January 28, 2026

How God Removed My Confidence Completely from Man

When I was very young in my village church, we used to go to church most evenings for youth programs. We didn’t go particularly for prayers, but there was this brother who loved prayers and would turn almost everything into prayer—almost as though he had learned early to understand God during challenges and hardships.

I would kneel to pray with him, thinking the prayers would end in five minutes or less, but sometimes we continued for up to an hour.

At times during the prayer session, I would open my eyes and look at him to see if he was about to stop, but he wouldn’t even notice I was looking at him because he was so lost in prayer.

At first, it felt like punishment, but after a while, I got used to it and even started learning how to pray like him—what once felt inconvenient slowly became meaningful, teaching me in a quiet way when disappointment is mercy, and that not everything uncomfortable is meant to harm you.

We loved this brother so much because he knew the Word and could pray. To me, he was more important than anyone else and represented a perfect picture of God.

One day, we came to church and news was everywhere that this brother was sleeping around. He was called and disciplined in church, but he left without submitting to the discipline.

Gosh! To me, it felt like a god had fallen. It was as if my whole world had collapsed. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I said to myself, if this brother can fall, then I don’t need to continue in this Christianity.

I was so discouraged and confused about what to do. At that moment, leaving the church felt like the best option—but somewhere deep within, a quiet reminder began to rise that when people forget you, God has not, even when those you looked up to fail and everything feels uncertain.

While I was still discouraged, unhappy, and thinking deeply, God spoke to me. He said,

“I did not call you to look at any man.”

Wow! That word came with such force that my anger and discouragement melted instantly. I apologized to God for looking to a man and decided from that day onward that no matter who the person is, I would never allow anyone to take the place of God in my life.

That message was so strong that till today, it is still very fresh in my heart.

I became fully convinced that even if my parents stopped serving Jesus, I would wave them goodbye and continue following Him—because I had begun to understand why God responds to His word more than our effort, and that my walk with Him had to be built on His truth, not on the consistency of people.

My parents were Christians before they gave birth to me, and they played a very important role in my life. Yet, if they stopped serving Jesus, I would still continue.

No one—I repeat, no one—would ever be able to discourage me from serving God again. It does not matter the title such a person carries. Titles are given by men anyway.

Glory to God that He does not leave us to ourselves in trying moments.

Here are some related posts that will bless your soul.

Three Levels of Satisfaction and Happiness in Marriage.

In my opinion, there are three levels of satisfaction or happiness in marriage. Understanding these levels is important because many couples may not realize where their relationship truly stands until problems become too large to ignore. God designed marriage as a union meant to reflect love, unity, and mutual fulfillment. When marriages deviate from this ideal, unhappiness and dissatisfaction can creep in. Examining these levels through the lens of Biblical kingdom principles for successful marriage and relationships provides guidance for cultivating love, respect, and lasting fulfillment in every aspect of married life.

1. The Marriage Where Both Partners Are Happy

The first and most desirable level of marital satisfaction is the marriage where both partners are genuinely happy. In this type of marriage, each person prioritizes the well-being and happiness of the other. Selfishness finds no place here because both spouses are committed to giving more than they receive. They almost compete in seeing who can bring more joy and satisfaction to the other.

True happiness in marriage is rooted in selflessness. It is not about what I can get from my spouse, but what I can give to ensure their joy. In such homes, love is active, intentional, and practical. The partners constantly look for ways to uplift each other—through kind words, thoughtful actions, and meaningful gestures of affection.

This level of satisfaction also understands the true meaning of submission. Many people misinterpret submission as one-sided control, but in a healthy marriage, submission is mutual. The man leads with love, humility, and consideration, seeking the well-being of his wife in every decision. The woman also submits in love, honoring her husband while expecting and receiving mutual care and respect.

Learn why marriages lose there sweetness here

One defining characteristic of these marriages is their quiet nature. They rarely involve third parties in their private affairs because they are secure and guided by the principles of faith. Jesus reigns supreme in such homes, and His guidance shapes the way partners interact with each other. Conflicts, when they arise, are resolved respectfully and privately. Communication flows freely, and disagreements never become opportunities for resentment.

Though these marriages may seem rare or hidden, they exist. They are the kind of unions that reflect God’s vision for love, partnership, and joy in marriage. Couples in this category experience fulfillment, companionship, and a deep sense of peace that comes from shared values and a shared commitment to God’s design for marriage.

2. The Marriage Where One Partner Is Happy and the Other Is Not

The second level of marital satisfaction is more common than many realize. In this type of marriage, one partner experiences happiness while the other struggles with dissatisfaction. Often, the partner who is unhappy may hide their feelings, fearing conflict or wishing to avoid offending their spouse. At other times, the discontented spouse may voice their frustrations, but the other partner pays little or no attention.

This type of marriage is often characterized by one-sided submission. In many cases, the woman submits while the man refuses to reciprocate. The imbalance can create resentment, frustration, and emotional distance over time. The spouse who is unhappy may feel undervalued or ignored, even if the marriage appears functional to outsiders. These behaviors are clear signs of a toxic relationship that, if left unchecked, can undermine the emotional and spiritual health of both partners.

Discover signs of a toxic relationship

This level of satisfaction demands immense patience, endurance, and sometimes sacrifice. Many people who experience this may rely on faith, prayer, and hope for change, much like our parents and elders often demonstrated in challenging times. However, while patience can preserve a marriage temporarily, it is not God’s ideal. God created marriage to be a partnership of mutual joy, love, and support. He desires that both partners flourish together, experiencing the fullness of life and companionship that marriage is meant to provide.

When one partner’s happiness is neglected, it can eventually affect the marriage’s foundation. Communication becomes strained, intimacy may decline, and emotional distance can grow. The couple may continue living together, but the relationship may feel more like a duty or obligation than a partnership built on love and shared joy.

3. The Marriage Where Neither Partner Is Happy

The third and most unfortunate level of marital satisfaction is the marriage where neither partner is happy. In these relationships, couples may remain legally married, but in practice, they live like strangers or divorced individuals. Their union lacks warmth, connection, and mutual respect.

In some cases, both the man and the woman engage in extramarital relationships. Sometimes they are aware of each other’s infidelity but choose to ignore it or pretend nothing is wrong. Decision-making becomes independent, as if each spouse were single, and the home environment often feels cold and disconnected. Couples in this situation may live in the same house but occupy separate emotional and physical spaces, even sleeping in different rooms. Understanding how to handle a toxic person becomes essential in such circumstances, helping you protect your heart, set boundaries, and navigate the relationship with wisdom and grace.

Such marriages are often maintained for appearances, fear of social judgment, or convenience. Yet, underneath, both partners harbor resentment, bitterness, and dissatisfaction. Malice and negative emotions may persist for years without resolution. The partnership that marriage is supposed to foster is replaced with isolation and emotional neglect.

This level of marital dissatisfaction is heartbreaking because it reflects a complete departure from God’s design. The joy, support, and fulfillment intended in marriage are absent, replaced by frustration, mistrust, and unmet expectations. Couples may continue in the marriage, but their home lacks love, peace, and spiritual alignment.

The Divine Standard for Marriage

God desires for every couple to experience the first level of satisfaction—a marriage where both partners are genuinely happy. He instituted marriage as a reflection of heaven on earth, a space where love, respect, and mutual care flourish. When couples align their relationships with God’s Word, they create homes filled with peace, joy, and fulfillment.

The Bible provides guidance on how to achieve this ideal. Husbands are instructed to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loves the church, while wives are called to respect and honor their husbands. Mutual submission, selflessness, and consideration are the keys to maintaining balance and harmony. Couples who practice these principles experience deep emotional satisfaction, spiritual alignment, and enduring happiness.

May your marriage be a reflection of heaven on earth, where both partners flourish, love grows abundantly, and God reigns supreme in every decision and action.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2026

Why Some Marriages Lose Their Sweetness — Prepare for Marriage, Not Just the Wedding.

I recently saw a couple who were still living in the same house but were technically not married. From the outside, everything looked normal—they shared a roof, a bed, and meals—but from observation, it was clear that the sweetness of marriage had long gone. Each of them did whatever they pleased. The woman acted without regard for the man, and the man did whatever he wanted, without consideration for her. This situation highlights the importance of following Biblical kingdom principles for successful marriage and relationships, which guide couples in love, respect, and mutual accountability.

It struck me deeply. I thought to myself: It is better not to be married at all than to live in a relationship like this. Marriage, in its truest sense, is not just about sharing a house or signing papers—it is about unity, respect, commitment, and love.

Many people today focus so much on the wedding—the event, the photos, the celebration—that they forget the bigger picture: the marriage itself. The real work begins after the vows are exchanged. A wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime.

Happiness Is the Goal, Not Just Marriage

The easiest way to live a happy and fulfilled life in marriage is to learn all you can about marriage. Preparation is key. You can never prepare too much. Yet, sadly, many enter marriage with little or no preparation, relying solely on love, attraction, or the excitement of the moment. Understanding the three levels of satisfaction in marriage—emotional, spiritual, and practical—helps couples build a strong foundation that goes beyond fleeting feelings and ensures lasting fulfillment.

Some of the happiest households I have seen are not always the ones with grand weddings or extravagant ceremonies. Some roommates in school, living together with minimal resources, can demonstrate more harmony, respect, and joy than married couples who share a mansion but lack understanding.

Marriage is not about physical proximity. It is about emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connection. If a couple cannot live in harmony, respect one another, or grow together, their marriage—even if legal—is effectively broken.

Lessons Couples Can Learn

There are several lessons every couple—whether dating, engaged, or married—can take from this scenario:

1. Respect Each Other’s Space and Individuality

A healthy marriage does not demand absolute conformity or suppression of individuality, but it does require respect. One of the biggest mistakes I observed in that couple was mutual disregard. They acted as though the other person’s feelings, needs, or opinions did not matter, which is one of the clear signs of a toxic relationship that should not be ignored.

In real life, small daily acts of respect—listening, considering each other’s opinions, and honoring boundaries—go a long way in strengthening a relationship. Marriage is a partnership, not a battle of wills.

2. Communication Is Non-Negotiable

Marriage without communication is like a house without walls—nothing holds it together. Couples often assume that love alone will carry them, but love without communication is incomplete.

Couples must learn to discuss disagreements calmly, share feelings honestly, and clarify expectations. Avoiding issues or pretending they do not exist only builds resentment. Over time, unspoken frustrations create distance.

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Communication is not just about talking—it’s about the way you talk. Gentle, honest, and respectful communication prevents small disagreements from becoming major rifts.

3. Work Together to Build Shared Goals

Many couples live together without aligning their vision for the future. They drift along without discussing finances, children, career plans, or even spiritual life. In the couple I observed, there was no sense of shared direction—each lived independently under the same roof.

A strong marriage requires teamwork. Sit down regularly and discuss your dreams, goals, and expectations. Work together to achieve them. Even challenges can be less stressful when both partners pull in the same direction.

4. Learn From Others Who Have Succeeded

One of the wisest decisions a couple can make is to learn from marriages that have stood the test of time. Talk to mentors, read books on marriage, and observe couples who manage conflict well. Real-life experience from others can prevent you from repeating mistakes and show you practical ways to handle common challenges.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” Marriage is a partnership. Learning together and from others strengthens that partnership, and understanding how to handle a toxic person ensures that challenges are addressed with wisdom, protecting the relationship while promoting growth and harmony.

5. Keep Your Relationship Dynamic

Routine and monotony can quietly erode intimacy. Couples often stop investing in the relationship after the initial excitement fades. Date nights, shared hobbies, surprise gestures, and intentional conversations about feelings are not luxuries—they are necessities.

Even the smallest acts of love and attention build emotional connection over time. Neglecting these leads to the slow disappearance of affection, respect, and mutual appreciation.

6. Address Conflict Early

Conflict is inevitable in any marriage. Avoiding it only makes it worse. The couple I saw allowed small disagreements and irritations to build into habitual neglect. By the time they realized it, the emotional distance was already significant.

Conflict resolution is a skill to learn. Forgive quickly, address issues calmly, and seek solutions together rather than trying to “win” arguments. This builds trust and prevents resentment from taking root.

7. Happiness Comes From Effort, Not Circumstances

A happy marriage is not about perfect conditions. It is about effort, patience, and mutual investment. You may not always live in a perfect home or have ideal circumstances, but with love, respect, communication, and shared purpose, you can create a joyful and fulfilling relationship.

Happiness in marriage is cultivated. It does not arrive magically. Couples must plant seeds daily through understanding, service, compromise, and love.

Conclusion: Preparing for Marriage Is Lifelong

Please, don’t only prepare for the wedding—prepare more for the marriage. The vows, rings, and ceremony are meaningful, but they are only the beginning. Learn how to live together, how to communicate, how to respect each other, how to forgive, and how to grow together.

Even if you are already married, it is never too late to make your home a heaven on earth. Learn from others, seek guidance, and invest in your relationship consistently. Remember, the best marriages are not perfect—they are intentional.

Marriage is a partnership, a lifelong journey of growth, understanding, and love. If you focus on nurturing the relationship, you can turn challenges into opportunities for deeper connection and joy.

As you prepare for marriage or continue building it, ask yourself: Am I actively investing in our relationship? Am I learning, growing, and contributing to a home filled with love, respect, and purpose?

When you do, you will not only stay married—you will thrive in marriage.

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How to Build a Personal Relationship with God

In this lesson, we will be discussing how to build a personal relationship with God. The height you will attain spiritually is dependent on the quality of your relationship with God, emphasizing the importance of building a strong, lasting relationship with God that shapes your character, guides your decisions, and anchors your faith.

Before we continue with this lesson, you may be wondering what the benefits of having a personal relationship with God truly are. If so, I encourage you to read this post first to understand the benefits of having a personal relationship with God, which include guidance, peace, purpose, and the assurance of His presence in every area of your life.

There are many things God will personally teach you when you build and maintain a personal relationship with Him, and God longs for such relationships.

Read the Bible passage below:

James 4:8

“Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double-minded.”

This Bible passage is the foundation for building a relationship with God. God saved us by His mercy. When we were yet sinners, He chose and saved us. This was God’s initiative—He initiated your knowing Him.

However, building a personal relationship with God now requires your personal initiative. You must decide to maintain that relationship. God will not force you. Many people started building a relationship with God but stopped halfway, and God did not force them to continue. This is why spending time in the secret place—private moments of prayer, worship, and reflection—is essential for nurturing and sustaining your connection with Him.

So, you must have a strong determination to maintain a good relationship with God, because there will be challenges along the way.

The devil and the world will fight you to drop it—do not pay attention. Sometimes people will say you are doing too much—do not listen.

What should occupy your mind is the sweet and consistent relationship with God that you will enjoy.

So, how do we build a consistent relationship with God?

1. Make up your mind to fellowship with God in prayer every day.

It is good to set a specific time. The time should be slightly longer than your normal prayer time so it does not become mechanical.

For example, if you normally pray for 10 minutes, set your daily fellowship time for 15 minutes. At first, it may be difficult, but with time you will get used to it and even exceed it.

This prayer time should not be used only to bombard God with requests. It should also be a time to listen to Him and hear what He wants you to do.

This is how you train yourself to hear the voice of God. That is why a quiet place is very important. Noise will disturb your flow, so choose a quiet environment.

Choose any convenient time—day or night—but make sure it is free from distractions. Keep strictly to the time. Do not be late, and do not stop too early. If your prayer time is 15 minutes, keep it. It is better to exceed it than to stop before time.

Also, understand that consistency is more important than duration. Pray every day, whether you feel like it or not. Being mindful of hindrances to effective personal relationship with God—like distractions, irregularity, or neglecting discipline—ensures that your time with Him is fruitful and impactful.

As you continue, you will discover that prayer is not always about talking. Sometimes you remain quiet before God and allow your spirit to communicate with His Spirit.

This is when God sends instructions, insights, and inspiration into your spirit.

2. Spend time reading and studying the Word.

As you pray, you must also create time to read and study the Bible. This is how you get to know the God you are relating with.

If you are just starting, do not use only the King James Version. Combine it with modern translations. The language of the King James Version is different from how we speak today, and modern versions help with understanding.

Be consistent with Bible reading. If using a daily devotional helps you stay consistent, please do.

I personally have chapters of the Bible I read every day, and I make sure I read them before the day ends.

Without the Word, you cannot truly know God, because His Word is an expression of who He is.

As you read or study the Word, make up your mind to obey it. There is no point in reading the Word if you are not willing to obey it. When you disobey the Word, you are disobeying God.

3. Take personal retreats regularly.

A personal retreat is when you set aside one full day—or more—to stay with God alone. Some people go for 7 days, 14 days, or even 21 days.

If you are starting, begin with 24 hours. Spend one full day with God, then increase the duration with time.

During a retreat, go with your Bible and, if necessary, a book on a subject you want to understand better. Study, pray, and wait on God.

It is helpful to go for a retreat with a specific purpose. It could be to understand a scripture, seek direction, solve a challenge, or simply know God more.

Some pray like Moses during retreat:

Exodus 33:13 (KJV)

“Now therefore, I pray thee, if I have found grace in thy sight, shew me now thy way, that I may know thee…”

Others go to seek direction for their ministry or life. Sometimes, you may go on retreat not because you want anything, but simply to fellowship with God and allow Him to speak freely into your life.

Personal retreats help you deepen and sustain a consistent walk with God.

God wants to relate with you personally. So no matter how busy you are with church activities or God’s work, never neglect your personal relationship with Him.

If this message has spoken to you, here are some related teachings that will help you understand a personal relationship with God more deeply: