A Lesson on Ignorance and Respect: What I Learned in Lagos

There was a time I visited my uncle in Ikotun, Lagos State, Nigeria. As a village boy who had just come to Lagos, there were so many things I didn’t understand at the time. The environment was new, the culture felt different, and I was still trying to adjust to how things were done in the city. Looking back now, I can see clearly how much I didn’t know then.

One day, my uncle decided to take me along with him to his office in his official car. It was a government car, the kind with a plate number that tells people something about who the owner is. To me, that alone showed a level of importance and respect, and I was already being very careful about how I behaved around him. I didn’t want to do anything that would appear disrespectful.

So, when he asked me to get into the car so we could go together, I followed him. He was the one driving, and immediately, I made a decision that I thought was the right thing to do. I chose to go and sit at the back seat of the car, believing that it was a sign of respect. Where I came from, we were taught not to sit close to elders unless invited—it was seen as proper behavior to give them space.

As I moved to the back seat and sat down, I heard my uncle say something that confused me at the time. He said, “He has now become my driver.” I didn’t fully understand what he meant, because in my mind, I was simply showing respect. I thought I was doing the right thing, so his statement didn’t make much sense to me back then.

Now that I think about it, everything is clearer. Sitting at the back made it look as though he was driving me, like a chauffeur, instead of us going together. In trying to show respect, I unknowingly created a different impression. Honestly, I feel it would have helped if my uncle had simply asked me to come sit in the front seat, so I could understand what was expected in that situation.

Still, as a humble man, he said nothing further and simply drove me to the office. He didn’t make an issue out of it or embarrass me. That alone taught me something about maturity and patience in dealing with others, especially those who may not fully understand certain things yet.

That experience left me with a very important lesson that has stayed with me over the years. Some people are not intentionally disrespectful—they are simply ignorant of certain things and need to be taught. If this had happened with someone else, they might have misunderstood my action and concluded that I was proud or trying to act important.

They could have said, “How can this young boy sit at the back seat when I am the one trying to help him?” That kind of misunderstanding happens a lot, especially when we assume that people know what we know. But the truth is, not everyone has been exposed to the same experiences or understanding.

So when people, especially those from a younger generation, make mistakes, we should try to correct them with patience. Even when we feel they should know better, it is still important to guide them instead of judging them immediately. Teaching with understanding will always produce better results than reacting with assumptions.