I was walking down the road one day when I saw a pregnant woman, and suddenly, a funny post I once saw online came to mind.
Of course, the person who wrote it was a man—someone who has clearly never experienced labor pains. Another person replied and asked, “How do you know?”
The man responded, “Because no one has ever asked for another kick on the butt.”
The humor in that response is obvious, but beyond the laughter, there is a powerful truth hidden in it. Women go through the intense pain of labor, yet many still choose to have more children. Why? Because the joy that comes after the pain outweighs the pain itself—reminding us to ask, Do you understand God when life gets hard?, and trust that the struggles we face today can lead to greater joy and purpose tomorrow.
That simple idea reveals something deep about life—something many of us overlook.
Life is designed in such a way that before anything meaningful is birthed, there is always a process, and that process often involves pain.
And when I say “we,” I mean all of us. Not everyone will give birth to a child, but everyone is meant to give birth to something—an idea, a vision, a business, a ministry, a purpose—teaching us how disappointment is mercy, as the challenges and delays shape us, prepare us, and protect us for what we are meant to bring into the world.
Nothing valuable comes into existence without a process. And that process is rarely comfortable.
The Pain Before the Birth
Anyone who is not ready to face the pain is not ready for the birth.
This is where many people get stuck. They desire the outcome, but they are not willing to go through the process. They admire success, but they avoid the sacrifice it requires.
I once spoke with a young lady who was deeply afraid of giving birth. Not because she didn’t want children, but because of the stories she had heard about labor pains. Those stories created fear in her mind to the point where she began to question something that was naturally meant to bring joy—reminding me how when God delays, it is often to prepare our hearts and minds so that we can fully embrace the blessing without fear.
In the same way, many people are afraid to pursue their dreams—not because the dreams are impossible, but because of the obstacles they imagine. They have heard stories of failure, rejection, struggle, and hardship, and those stories have shaped their decisions.
The result? They never even start.
What You Focus On Matters
I have discovered something very important: many people focus so much on the pain that they completely lose sight of the benefit that comes after.
Jesus showed us a powerful principle in how to handle challenges:
Jesus did not ignore the pain of the cross—but He refused to focus on it. Instead, He focused on the joy that would come after. That focus gave Him the strength to endure what seemed unbearable.
If Jesus had focused more on the suffering, the shame, and the pain, He would not have completed His assignment.
Two Possible Focus Points
Every one of us has two choices when going through a process:
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Focus on the pain of the process
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Focus on the benefit of the outcome
If you focus on the pain, it will drain your energy, weaken your resolve, and eventually cause you to give up.
But if you focus on the outcome—the result, the impact, the reward—you will find strength you didn’t know you had.
Because whatever you focus on magnifies. Focus on pain, and it grows bigger in your mind until it feels impossible to move forward. Focus on the gain, and it grows stronger until it pushes you forward, even when it’s difficult—teaching us that God's will does not always bring instant victory, but staying focused on His purpose ensures we persevere to the right end.
The Silent Dream Killer: Excuses
One of the most subtle ways people focus on pain without realizing it is through excuses.
Excuses sound reasonable. They often feel justified. But in reality, they are barriers we build around our own progress.
You hear things like:
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“I’m not ready yet.”
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“I don’t have enough resources.”
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“What if I fail?”
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“This is too hard.”
The truth is simple and direct: you cannot make excuses and make progress at the same time.
It’s one or the other.
You must decide—will you protect your excuses, or will you pursue your purpose?
Because every excuse you keep alive slowly kills your dream.
Real-Life Lessons to Hold On To
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Pain is part of the process, not a sign to quit.Every meaningful achievement comes with discomfort. Growth stretches you. Progress challenges you. Don’t interpret difficulty as a sign to stop—it’s often a sign you’re on the right path.
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Your mindset determines your endurance.Two people can face the same challenge, but their focus will determine their outcome. One sees pain and quits. The other sees purpose and continues.
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Fear is often built on imagination, not reality.Like the lady afraid of childbirth, many fears are based on stories, not personal experience. Don’t let imagined pain rob you of real opportunities.
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Excuses are expensive.They may give you temporary comfort, but they cost you long-term fulfillment. Every excuse you entertain is a step away from your potential.
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The reward is always greater than the process.Just like childbirth, the joy that comes after will make the pain worth it. But you have to get there to experience it.
Final Thought
Whatever you are trying to give birth to in life—don’t stop because of the pain. Don’t shrink back because of fear. Don’t settle because the process is uncomfortable.
Shift your focus.
Look beyond the struggle. See the outcome. See the impact. See the fulfillment.
Kill your excuses, embrace the process, and keep moving forward.
Because on the other side of that pain is something worth every effort.
See you at the top.
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